Never knew another human could shelter me from my mental storm.
With an umbrella in hand and a towel to dry me off.
Standing tall and manish with one thing in mind...to heal.
To mend this broken being takes love and patience...
He offers much to my surprise, but yet again he can cure
the soul with his amazing eyes.
I offer your broken pieces of my heart,
he gladly accepts...
I got the clue and the time...you are my forever project!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Memory
I wanted to give you all of me, but you paused smiled and said, nah your love is not for me.
I agreed, packed my bags and proceeded to leave.
You let me leave, but when the nights grew lonely without me.
You disagreed on our agreement to be apart from one another.
The next girl you say is not working her part therefore you are a man after my heart...
in between a few months apart...
No thank you HE has got me right where I need to be.
Found me dusted me ---from where you left me.
You can have what you choose, I admit I walked out the door
and my choice of words ring true, because I never trusted you.
Now my days are cool without you---
No thanks I got my guy, stand up, fly, mature, strong and only has eyes for me.
Not groupies and flunkies ahem...as some of yours might be.
I agreed, packed my bags and proceeded to leave.
You let me leave, but when the nights grew lonely without me.
You disagreed on our agreement to be apart from one another.
The next girl you say is not working her part therefore you are a man after my heart...
in between a few months apart...
No thank you HE has got me right where I need to be.
Found me dusted me ---from where you left me.
You can have what you choose, I admit I walked out the door
and my choice of words ring true, because I never trusted you.
Now my days are cool without you---
No thanks I got my guy, stand up, fly, mature, strong and only has eyes for me.
Not groupies and flunkies ahem...as some of yours might be.
Friday, August 14, 2009
A Daughter's Plea
Wake me up from the purdah of solstice I've seem to wander into.
I feel my strength as it gives my heart/soul cardiopulmonary resuscitation to revive it from being frozen and most cases dead.
Feelings of anxiety because there is more to be said, more work to accomplish and more life to live.
How does one gather strength from Love?
When Love itself is selfish, unyielding and more times than none unforgiving.
I lost a huge part of myself when he was taken to his eternal resting place.
Knowing never will I have a chance to dance with him and hear the laugh he laughed so often with...we share the same face---how do I look at myself knowing its missing and can never be replaces but yet we share the same face.
Similarities we share: the same heart, people say we have the same genuine soul--to create peace and laughter through pure love. If I were ONLY the part of you---made into a person like you--then maybe I would be peaceful.
They say I will find ways to live without you, knowing me: living will be like living with you, in memory of you---for the love of you.
I don't ever want to forget you, so I welcome the tears the mourning minus the pain. I realized you never did anything to hurt me and for that I am peaceful knowing we said "love and goodbye" but here I stand as your legacy and I will not fail you! Sigh.....
I feel my strength as it gives my heart/soul cardiopulmonary resuscitation to revive it from being frozen and most cases dead.
Feelings of anxiety because there is more to be said, more work to accomplish and more life to live.
How does one gather strength from Love?
When Love itself is selfish, unyielding and more times than none unforgiving.
I lost a huge part of myself when he was taken to his eternal resting place.
Knowing never will I have a chance to dance with him and hear the laugh he laughed so often with...we share the same face---how do I look at myself knowing its missing and can never be replaces but yet we share the same face.
Similarities we share: the same heart, people say we have the same genuine soul--to create peace and laughter through pure love. If I were ONLY the part of you---made into a person like you--then maybe I would be peaceful.
They say I will find ways to live without you, knowing me: living will be like living with you, in memory of you---for the love of you.
I don't ever want to forget you, so I welcome the tears the mourning minus the pain. I realized you never did anything to hurt me and for that I am peaceful knowing we said "love and goodbye" but here I stand as your legacy and I will not fail you! Sigh.....
Haunt Me
The sun starts to dawn,
a sure sign the daylight is dying.
Confused as the weather like the clouds
lingered debating to rain or not.
I stand and plot if I will come to visit him
in that grave-parking lot for the dead.
Was this really something I want to manifest
in my head?
How can I come see you at a place where I don't see you?
Because where I find you is in my own eyes, my sons smile
the music the soul the laughter and my own giving nature.
-Myself
-Cristion
-Grandchildren
-Your brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces
sigh...I even see it in my Mother.
Sad now for the days I said I can count the days I spend with my Father
as if it were the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me.
But now I say...I can count the days with my Father, blessed me...to be able to remember every detail of every day and count the ways.
Hear the stories of a humble, loving, humorous, soul.
Blessed me, to be able to hear nothing but positive stories of how you never hurt anyone ---all that you gave and all you were willing to do...how your laughter was contagious.
How you were Johnny Rod the dude with all the funny jokes and the sound effect and how you were always smiling...
Sigh...that's why it's so easy to see it in Cristion's smile...because I remember yours clearly!
...I went anyway...I drove to your grave and the sky overcast with a light shade of gray....I tried to say driving by was good enough.
When I got there I was alone the rain was coming and all I could think of...that's my Daddy down there....he should be at home...I'm not clear on how I actually got the his plot but I was on my knees, crying, professing, missing, praying and writing poetry without even knowing.
Then I felt the Texas rain like tears warm but needed...sigh...I pleaded to show me signs...stay around me, haunt me and wait for me.
Happy Birthday Daddy, I love you still...never good bye but until we say hello again...
7.31.09
a sure sign the daylight is dying.
Confused as the weather like the clouds
lingered debating to rain or not.
I stand and plot if I will come to visit him
in that grave-parking lot for the dead.
Was this really something I want to manifest
in my head?
How can I come see you at a place where I don't see you?
Because where I find you is in my own eyes, my sons smile
the music the soul the laughter and my own giving nature.
-Myself
-Cristion
-Grandchildren
-Your brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces
sigh...I even see it in my Mother.
Sad now for the days I said I can count the days I spend with my Father
as if it were the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me.
But now I say...I can count the days with my Father, blessed me...to be able to remember every detail of every day and count the ways.
Hear the stories of a humble, loving, humorous, soul.
Blessed me, to be able to hear nothing but positive stories of how you never hurt anyone ---all that you gave and all you were willing to do...how your laughter was contagious.
How you were Johnny Rod the dude with all the funny jokes and the sound effect and how you were always smiling...
Sigh...that's why it's so easy to see it in Cristion's smile...because I remember yours clearly!
...I went anyway...I drove to your grave and the sky overcast with a light shade of gray....I tried to say driving by was good enough.
When I got there I was alone the rain was coming and all I could think of...that's my Daddy down there....he should be at home...I'm not clear on how I actually got the his plot but I was on my knees, crying, professing, missing, praying and writing poetry without even knowing.
Then I felt the Texas rain like tears warm but needed...sigh...I pleaded to show me signs...stay around me, haunt me and wait for me.
Happy Birthday Daddy, I love you still...never good bye but until we say hello again...
7.31.09
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