Rehab My Soul

They tried to send me to rehab, but I didn't go.
I thought I could fix myself with THC and all that blow.
My mind was flooded with lifes misery, never seeing the rainbow after the rains had made a mess of the earth.
Never stopped to smell the roses because I do not like roses,
oblivious to the beauty it posesses and appreciate the rain that helps bloom.
Now I am at this time in my life where I feel failure and pure doom.
What a mess I have allowed to beleaguer me on a constant.
I have been given many chances to take beryllium and create tenderness
and accept love.
I use to always pray for my heart to be unfrozen and send me someone to love.
I have just that.
He sent me my son,
he sent me this one and that one...
now he sent me him in the purest form of challenging everything about me.
From mental, education, submission, repentive, thankful, appreciative and most of how to test myself in the values of love and let go off all the collateral pain I have seemed to tattoo on my day.
From here on out, I consider myself to be in rehab...
and the cliche of carpe diem, well I will do just that.
Set my goals, live my life, create and be happy.
I have a man in my life who is willing to give me his all and loves me for me and doesn't ask me to change, but one thing...to be happy more often and stop being so dramatic.
I was not always like this.
After losing my Father my heart has been displaces, rearranged and estranged.
I wake up to his man, sleep, eat, laugh, cry, talk, care and love on a daily...he says "most people would love to have what we have"...and honestly I need to learn how to love what we have because it is a beautiful thing.
He does it effortlessly.
Many things try to come between us but the test of ties always hold fast, strong and true.
For the females that had him, want him thank you for not doing what you needed to do.
If you stay connected to him one way or another you have to know he comes home and stays home with me/us our family...you can come and try to give him what he wants or needs I give you my blessing because if I can't make him happy, I love him enough to let him go...
BUT, I've openeded that door for him to leave plenty of times and have done plenty of things to have him close the door in my face---
he knows where he wants to be and knows I love him.
For my faith always is restored because this love is real.

I am now in the process of rehabilitation of my soul.